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Oh, didn’t you know? That’s right, I now do weekly recaps for Masterchef. For your edification, please see:

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

Byeee!

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You can read recaps for the last three weeks of Biggest Loser Families as directed below:

Biggest Loser Families – Week 12
Biggest Loser Families – Week 13
Biggest Loser Families – The End

Or, if you want to read every single recap in one marathon sitting, click on here.

And if you don’t, Osama bin Laden is bound to come back to life!

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As we swathe ourselves in the choclatey velvetness that is Easter, we should all stop and reflect on the man who made all this possible. I’m talking about the man who sacrificed his life so that we could … well keep doing what we always had. That was quite a desperate act. Did he think it through?

Jesus: “I am allowing myself to be tortured and murdered so that all your sins may be forgiven.”

Bloke 1: “Ah, thanks Jesus. Wow! We’re kind of speechless.”

Bloke 2: “Are you sure about this buddy? I mean, to be honest with you, I am going to keep on sinning irregardless. Not that I don’t appreciate your efforts of course. Just seems a bit severe. Don’t get me wrong. From now on I’m going to spend and hour a week thinking about you. It’s just that I kind of like sinning.”

Jesus: “Oh! Oh, I didn’t … It’s probably too …”

Bloke 1: “Actually Jesus, I think it’s a little bit weird. You know, getting yourself nailed to a cross and all. If I was going to die for mankind’s sins, I’d probably try and go out in style. You know, like strap some burning bushes to your body and run screaming into an assembly of Roman Senators. Or catch syphilis from some hot tottie. Ha ha ha ha! ”

Bloke 2: “For sure. Maybe something like trying to eat a plague of locusts until your stomach bursts. Or being bitten on the todger by an asp so that it swells up to ten times it’s size. You may die, but at least you’d have the biggest dick in town for a few minutes.”

Bloke 1: “Oh that is so cool. Man, we’d make much better messiahs, don’t you think?”

Jesus: “Look, do you two knuckleheads want to take your comedy routine somewhere else? I’m busy dying up here.”

Bloke 1: “Oh, sorry Jesus. Yeah no worries mate. Come on Peter, lets head into town for some beers and strippers. Because we can now that Jesus has had himself nailed to a cross.”

Bloke 2: “Ah yeah. I keep forgetting that I can now do all the things I used to do because Jesus is up there on the cross bleeding all over the place. See ya Jesus. Happy Easter.”

Bloke 1: “Yeah, see you later J man. Or not. Probably not in fact. Not unless you can raise yourself from the dead. Ha ha ha ha ha!”

Bloke 2: “Ha ha ha ha ha!”

Bloke 1: “Ha ha ha ha ha!”

Jesus: “Dickheads.”

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Better late than never I guess. You, on the other hand, may think differently.

Biggest Loser Families – Week 10

Biggest Loser Families – Week 11

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Go for it.

Biggest Loser Families – Week 9 (The Quickening)

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Get it here:

Biggest Loser Families – Week 8

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Biggest Loser Families

Get it now, get it fresh.

Biggest Loser Families – Week 7

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